MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS

  • Friends - Never ask for food
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Are the reason you have no food.

  • Friends - Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Call your parents Mom and Dad.

  • Friends - Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Will be sitting next to you saying, D**n... that was fun!"

  • Friends - Have never seen you cry.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Cry with you.

  • Friends - Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

  • Friends - Know a few things about you.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Can write a book with direct quotes from you.

  • Friends - Will leave you behind, if that's what the rest of the crowd is doing.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Will whoop the whole crowd that left you.

  • Friends - Knock on your door.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Walk right in and holler, "Hey y'all! Anybody ta' home?"

  • Friends - Are for a while.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Are for life.

  • Friends - Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,
    "You better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!!"

  • Friends - Will talk smack to the person who talks smack about you.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Will knock them on their a**!!.

  • Other Friends - Will ignore this.
  • MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS - Will send this to their MISSISSIPPI FRIENDS.


Mississippians

if.....

You can properly pronounce Neshoba, Chata, Nanih Waiya, Shuqualak, DeKalb, Kosciusko, Decatur, Yazoo, Pascagoula, Picayune, and Scooba.

A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

You know stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

You measure distance in minutes.

You only serve 'Little Smokies' for special occasions.

You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

A bad traffic jam involves two drivers staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.

You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed, Crew Cab is...

You know everything goes better with Ranch.

You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.

Finally, you are 100% Mississippian if you have ever heard or had this conversation:
"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."



You Should Know...

  • How do you know when you're staying in a Mississippi hotel?
    When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."


  • How can you tell if a Mississippi redneck is married?
    There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.


  • Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Mississippi to 32?
    It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.


  • What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
    Documentaries.


  • Did you know a Mississippian invented the toothbrush?
    If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.


  • A Mississippi State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-55 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
    ... he asks, "Bout wut?"


  • Did you hear about the $3 million Mississippi State Lottery? (Come on -- this is funny!)
    The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.


  • The governor's mansion in Mississippi burned down!
    Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too.
    Both books- POOF - up in flames, and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

A guy walks into a bar in Tupelo and orders a mudslide.
The bartender looks at the man and says, "Y'all ain't from 'roun here are ya'?"
"No", replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya' do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist", said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
The man says, "I mount animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar...
"It's okay boys, he's one of us!"