The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes The South has 'mater samiches The North has coffeehouses The South has Waffle Houses The North has Mom The South has Mama The North has dating services The South has family reunions The North has switchblade knives The South has Lee Press-on Nails The North has saving the whales The South has getting saved The North has double last names The South has double first names The North has sensational tabloids The South has neighbors The North has the Mafia, The South has NASCAR The North has Indy car races The South has Swamp Buggy races The North has multiple branched family trees The South has family trees with trunks and no branches The North has Cream of Wheat or Oatmeal The South has grits The North has green salads The South has collard greens and chitlins The North has lobsters The South has crawdads The North has flower gardens, bird baths, and flagpoles in front yards The South has cars on blocks, pink flamingos, and washtubs in front yards

....Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys,"     even if both of them are women. ....You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." ....You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY. ....You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road.     (e.g. boiled peanuts). ....You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. ....For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits. ....You don't know what a moon pie is... ....You've never had an RC Cola. ....You've never, ever eaten okra       -- fried, boiled, or pickled. ....You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. ....You've never seen a live chicken,     and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. ....You have no idea what a polecat is. ....You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog. ....You don't have bangs. ....You would rather have your son become a lawyer,     than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. ....You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes." ....You've never eaten, and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich. ....You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show. ....You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university     than to pay the salary of the head football coach. ....You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. ....The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on     an on-ramp to the Freeway. ....You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. ....You have more than one professional sports team in your home state. ....You call binoculars opera glasses. ....You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and     stopping. ....You don't know anyone with at least two first names     (i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice) ....You don't know any women with male names     (i.e. Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie) ....You don't have Mam-maw's & Pap-paw's. ....You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. ....None of your fur coats are homemade.