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| 1. |
Do NOT order  |
at the
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 so let them cook something they know. |
| 2. | Do not laugh at Southern names | (Merleen, Bodie, Gertrude, Joe Boy, | Sudie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, | Mari Beth, Billy Bob, etc.) | These people have been known to whup a man's a*s for less. |
| 3. | Do not order a bottle of pop or can of |
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This might lead to a beating. |
| 4. | Down South it is called |
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It don't make a d**n whether it's a Pepsi, 7-Up or whatever else; its a Co-Cola. |
| 5. | Don't show allegiance to any college football team that is not in the |
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(Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, etc.) All the others are just a bunch of pansies that play teams like... |
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| 6. | Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies. |
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7.
We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you. We are also better educated and generally lots nicer. |
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| 8. | We have plenty of business sense |
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| 9. | Naturally, we do sometimes have a small lapse in judgement... |
 AKA Bernard John Ebbers Born: 27-Aug-1941 Birthplace: Edmonton, Alberta, CANADA NOT a Southerner!! |
 AKA Daniel Kirkwood Fordice, Jr. Born: 10-Feb-1934 OOPS! Birthplace: Memphis, TN |
 AKA David Ernest Duke Born: 13-Jul-1950 Birthplace: Tulsa, OKLA Sorta Southern! |
 AKA Chester Trent Lott, Sr. Born: 9-Oct-1941 OOPS! Birthplace: Grenada, MS ...and wearin' a bad "rag" |
| We don't care if you think we are dumb, because we will whup your a*s. |
| 10. |
We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the h**l up, spend your |
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and get the h**l outta here. |
| 11. |
Don't order wheat toast at... |
 Everyone will instantly know that you're from Ohio. |
| 12. |
Eat your biscuits  |
like God intended |
and don't put sugar on your grits.
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| 13. | Don't fake a southern accent. This will incite a riot. |
| 14. |
Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't give a d**n. If you don't like it here, take your a*s home. |
| is ready anytime you are... |
| 15. |
We don't play lacrosse, hockey, or any of those other sissy Northern games. So don't come down here asking the score because we don't give a d**n. |
| 16. |
We know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we want to and because we can. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners do understand what we are saying and that's all that matters. Now, go home. |
| 17. |
Last, but not least (actually, this should be NUMBER ONE). DO NOT ever come down here trying to tell us how to make Bar-B-Q. This will get your a*s shot. You're lucky we let you come down here. Question our Bar-B-Q and go home in a pine box. |
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